Allow Me To Explain

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. - Sir Winston Churchill

Horses are good for me. Just ask my husband. Before we put my mare down in January of this year, my husband would INSIST I get to the barn. Everyone could easily tell if I hadn’t been to the barn in a couple of days, or more. I tended to be more stressed, more quick to snap, and generally in a down mood, though I tried to be nice to everyone. Hubby wouldn’t hesitate to take me to the barn, even if it was raining, just to visit my beloved mare.

Let me start this blog by explaining a few things. First, I was a horse owner for 5 years up until January when I was forced to send my best friend to Heaven. Her name was Star, and she was the best horse I’ve ever had. I miss her more than you can imagine. But, it’s been my experience, to respect the love you had for one animal when you let them go, you should show it to another. I couldn’t do that at the time, due to being pregnant. Well, it’s now August, my son was born last month, and as of two days ago, I’m back in cowgirl mode.

Thanks to my wonderful friends, I wasn’t truly out of cowgirl mode, even when heavily pregnant. I still went to watch horse shows, hung around my horsey friends and their amazing equines, and even brushed a few of the gentler ones. I don’t have to ride a horse to be happy, just being around them is a thrill for me. Now that I’m allowed to really be around them again, my friend has offered to let me work with and show her paint gelding. Yos Mystical Cloud, is a registered American Paint Horse. He’s built like a tank, and quite beautiful, this, coming from a woman who has never really cared for paints. He’s brown and white, has a big blaze, and a white mane and tail. Oh, and the most mischievous big brown eyes you’ll ever see.

Can you see where this is going? Magic, which is what we call him, has quite the personality. He’s only been broken to ride for a few months, so I won’t be getting on his back right this moment. Which brings me to the reason for this blog.

Last time I attempted to ride was a perfectly normal day. My best friend, whose name also just happens to be Kim, and I were hauling her horses out to the beach to ride. I couldn’t wait. The saddle I was putting on my mount had been ridden by someone else recently, and I had to shorten the stirrups. When I went to go mount the horse, I had trouble reaching the stirrup. Unfortunately, instead of taking another minute to lengthen them, I was so eager to get out on the beach, I went ahead and attempted to mount him once more. This time, my boot was in the stirrup, I was pulling myself up, and the horse sidestepped. I lost my balance and fell, dislocating my knee and calling an early end to the ride.

That was July 25^th, 2010. I had no idea how, in that moment, my life had changed completely. Because, just over a month later, I received the devastating phone call from my barn owner. Star was having trouble standing. Several hours later, in the dark night, surrounded by friends, and an immobilizer brace on my leg, I stood with Star as she was being given pain meds. She was very unsteady, having fallen several times. I’d been keeping my distance from her unless she was already down, as I was moving much slower than usual with my leg.

I was standing a few feet from her, shining a light on her neck so someone could give her a shot when I heard, “she’s going down!” I turned, saw her out of the corner of my eye, and attempted to go the opposite way she was. Little did I know, she was attempting to go a different direction from me, but due to a pelvis injury, she accidentally went the same way. She fell on top of me, and as I was headed for the ground, I felt my other knee dislocate.

It was weeks before I could walk without the help of a walker or crutches, and months before I didn’t need a brace both of my knees, but just one. Star was getting better everyday, and that kept my spirits up. We were healing together, I thought. In January, the morning after a horribly cold rainstorm, I received the news; Star was down, and couldn’t get up. She was much worse than she ever had been, having re-injured her pelvis. There was no saving her this time, despite what the chiropractor tried to do for her. As much as it killed me, I insisted we end her suffering.

So, after all this, not to mention multiple falls I experienced my first few years of horsey life, the first when I landed on my head and neck, you can imagine I have a bit of fear and a deep physical respect for these animals. No horse has ever intentionally hurt me, but I’m still afraid. My joints dislocate much easier than the average person’s, and now that I’m a mom, it’s not just about me, anymore.

So, this is my horsey blog I’ll be updating whenever I feel like it, anywhere from one to three times a week. Keep up with me as I get back into the horsey world, back into the horse show world, and most importantly, cheer for me as I suck up my courage, face my fears, and work my way to get back in the saddle.